her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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