No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
