Nicole vs. Life
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
