Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
