i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
