marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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