How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize