Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
