so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
