how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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