K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
