how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
