wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
