come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
