so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
