I want to have your abortion
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize