what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
