You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was like eating out sand paper
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
