Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
