I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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