Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she told me i tasted like america
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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