One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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