tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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