I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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