oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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