Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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