What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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