Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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