I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize