I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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