Are we in a gay sports bar?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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