I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sarcasm needs its own font
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
