So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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