Pappa wants mamma naked
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize