When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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