god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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