chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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