32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
