She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize