Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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