At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
