I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
