the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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