I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
