Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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