Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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