I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
