but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
is it fun? or sober?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
