i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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