I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
