you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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