Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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