I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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