My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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