once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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