No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
