But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
