if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
