Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
