Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's like heaven, but drunker
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
