If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
