I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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