So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
