Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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