I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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