She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize