Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Couch. On fire.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
