Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
